Knowing Oneself | Something in the abyss.

“My body is one only because there is something immaterial which admits this changing body as one, and on its own.”

Without this knowledge of myself as seperate from eerything else, I should know nothing of my own or of any other life.

COUNT LYOF N, TOLSTOI

As a self-proclaimed introvert, I find comfort in being able to write all that is on my heart and mind without a care about who may or may not read the words I have written. There is something quite inviting, almost peaceful, to know the absence of admiration or acknowledgment. It is virtually freeing to have no pressure against me. Then I think logically about the society in which we live, and I have to ask myself, doesn’t it always matter to consider who may be absorbing the words I have written?

Should I consider how what I say may affect others and how my emotions may have a ripple effect, whether valid or on the extreme side?
I know one thing, to be sure. I am human and tend to elaborate on my heart’s feelings and communicate what is left in my mind. I quickly become dramatic in my explanation because my soul resides in storytelling. Nevertheless, there is and always will be what is essential to me, which is the truth in all this sense of elaboration.

For this is what feels (most) honest to me.

We all need to let go of some sort of pain in our hearts that we’ve been holding. And if you don’t believe after age 25 that there is any pain in your heart, then I question how well you know your heart or where you’ve been in life. Either way, I’m speaking on my behalf when I say there is something in the abyss.

Something in the nothingness.


As scary as it might be. Uninviting, almost disturbing to consider getting closer enough with to know. My heart and soul have been on a mission. Understanding the depths of all that I’ve been, I’ve stood, almost shaking, just to forecast all that I could be. Currently, I’m in the process of knowing if both sides can continue to coincide with me. Although both only sometimes benefit me. I’m multifaceted. And I’m scared to leave behind any truth or authentic side of me.

And there you have it, the truest part of A.Lipp to Lend.— My heart + Soul.

The only knowledge I have ever gained throughout my life is through unlearning who I thought I was. Being a fly on the wall in the lives of others. Separate from everything else. I genuinely just want to know who people are at their core. To share what I’ve learned by considering what I don’t know. Separate from my own or any other life.

What a lesson that has been to learn.

#alipptolend #30something #lifelessons

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s