Close the book—a superficial gesture of being done with it. Shut the door – with a cursive notion, never forgetting to lock that. Draw the shades – the semblance of control for what might drown in. They’re just rhythmic motions that flow to mean something. Like words from a kid who said, “all I want to do is write.”
I might have said I was giving this up, although I never mentioned I on no account thought A.Lipp to Lend would last. I do sometimes feel like I’m just that kid. Transfixed in a room and all I want to do is write. With the wisdom of a woman, I know I’ve been wrong. About most things, I’ve found a way to envision a way to feel alright about all that.
Allow me to reintroduce the notion that these “lessons” aren’t tried and true. Still, for most of my days, they were the primary ways. And it seems too dull now to say that’s all I knew to work for me. So I suppose -yes…I still want to lend people a perspective on what they may find to “work” for them. And when we can’t agree, let’s meet on everything in between with this guise of saluting.
Eventually, I believe, that turns into knowing “politely” how to exhibit all that doesn’t and for it to exit “appropriately.” Because although there haven’t been many departures in my life leaving casually, I’d trade that scarring in for something a little more ordinary. Boy, do I want that simplicity. But didn’t someone once say that wasn’t a thing that could ever be meant for me?
I promise I’m going somewhere with all this. I just needed to address the elephant in the room. In my claim to be leaving all this behind me. But when it comes to writing there’s where you’ll see -my love for returning to all that is familiar to me. How some habits are too hard or good to break. You know me, jonesing.
Maybe I’m a little bit of both; perhaps I am neither. I know the question and the teacher, but it’s much too shallow to make either about me. I know for I’d done that before. If you go through all my outdated, unedited, bare-scripted posts, A Lipp to Lend has a little bit of both; some are never meant to last. For all the folks who’ve sat together at church, let’s just say this was meant to be more like an offering. You know, one of those “communal” things.
-shared by all members of a community.
-between different communities, especially those having different religions or ethnic origins.
Something that was different but had the potential to bring us closer together. For you see, I’m not always the “odd man out,” but I relate to the black sheep. The weird kid who simply wants to be left alone in their room to read and write. Funny how a weirdness can become our nucleus. The central, most important part of who we are—the basis for how I operate, what propels me forward.
It’s one of many things that helps me propagate.
So no, this blog isn’t exactly like the rest. And I don’t even have to readdress my statement of leaving to say neither am I. But I will reiterate a point that I often do: these expressions are solely meant for my pursuit. For healing, for reminding, for closure. I’ve found nowhere here as I do.
Just lines on paper and the pens are so worn out that I don’t mind they’re dying. Here is my nucleus; this is where I begin. How weird can I be and still be able to thank God for this gift he’s given to me? Because I just can’t see one without the other. I have to be able to let it lend but also able to bring it back to me. For it’s the center of everything.
– written with words a little differently,
#growth #thisis30 #life #lessons #wordstoliveby #alipptolend #writersofwp #writers