I had a friend once who toasted me over a glass of wine the night I moved out on my own for the first time by saying, “here’s to the beginning of the rest of your life.” I never told her how petrified I was to make that move or how I thought for sure I’d somehow fall flat on my face. But her words that night changed my attitude, and they got me excited instead of fearful for that next step in my life. And to be honest, I think about her words every time I’m about to embark on a big yet uncertain move in my life. So tonight, I say cheers once again because here is the beginning of the rest of my life.
I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment for my whole lifetime. I write so much about passion and purpose that I began to worry if it would ever make sense in life for me. Tomorrow is my first day of graduate school, and I sense a little bit of everything about what it truly means to me. Nerves I thought went numb are hitting me a little differently tonight. I’m excited but unsure, yet for the first time, that feels liberating.
I can feel how my emotions contradict one another like they’re feeding off each other where I feel unsure is a certainty for what I’m doing. The spirit is challenging the nervousness of feeling unqualified that this will bring meaning to me. I’m letting the front foot lead the back one, and it’s the first thing I know is just for me. I can’t help but smirk as I think, “like, watch me.” And the best part? Is that it’s not even for me.
It’s to say to everyone like me, here’s to the beginning to the rest of your life. I don’t mind carrying the baton to the finish line so you can begin the right way again, as your way. I hope the process I’ve chosen to do things gives you a starting point for how you wish to do life your way. Because I’ve come to learn that’s the only way to do it. The only way we meet ourselves is by understanding what we need and own to give others.
I don’t know who you are, but I pray you to wish my fate in the same way I wish your harmony, for life to meet you exactly how it means to be. For clarity, I’ve sacrificed everything. And a little bit of me has been left inside all the rifts of my existence. I want to move like the waves and crash like the clouds. In rhythm with my element but wild when called to turn it all around.
I don't mind destruction calling to fall but only if letting go means of what's been held on to for too long.