Is it we or time which carries more power in the waves of variation? I tend to admire the process of terms in time like how much can change or similarily stay the same. And then there’s me, someone, who feels I’ve edited so many times it’s as though I’ve lived a thousand lives. Nonetheless, with every departure from who I’ve been when I irrevocably arrive, there is no strange sense of severance. Simply the peace of knowing a path to this home I’ve never been.
For whatever reason, I swore 27 was going to be my year. I talked about it like the golden child I never was, through rose-colored glasses for all the things I’d unquestionably gain in a year. But as it usually goes with expectations and certainties, time brought me back to reality. And as I embarked on the age of 28, it felt like I had taken a step back, no closer to even the little things I was sure by now would have been beneath my feet. I traded what I must have presumed to be a piece of security for the stability I had once scoured within me. And from this, I witnessed something invaluable about my will to preserve what I’ve discovered from the chaos, a word I later decided to connect to as lessons.
A lingering sense of shelter used to ache within me like the vacancy on an empty stomach. I needed a way to absorb the capacity it would take within me to define my autonomy. Coincidentally, this manifested itself gradually the deeper I devoured it over time. Moments that lacked significance to me then are what I have now, like cliff notes to the person I have become. And although I have a strong distastes for cliches and think the mirror metaphor is a little overplayed, I will say:
I see the significance of we simply as a reflection. On one side to all the unusual yet distinctive things I have that contribute to me. On the other side, I see how I lose all meaning when I allow others to define those words for me. I couldn’t feel more me than I do right now. And presently, at 29, I feel the weight of that transition fueling my soul once again.
So true to the nine, here are the (29) lessons I’ve connected to like questions up until this point in time.
- Revisiting experiences and the sentiments of our childhood is like having a copy of all the questions before you take the test.
- It does not guarantee that you’ll pass, but it offers you the knowledge that comes with time and the opportunity to prepare.
- Let people be wrong about you.
- Because truly who more important than you is there to convince?
- Create a space within you that allows those around you to be as they are.
- And if you don’t like what you see and it’s all they can be, know what it means to love from a distance.
- Nothing fuels the fire of our fears like dismissing our courage.
- Know whatever you hold within you is eventually what will surround you.
- So get to know the things you do and do not display. Because regardless, they’ll be there anyway.
- There’s nothing to be found in spending your whole life trying to find “a safe” place to hide.
- In every cave there lives a sense of gloom.
- Communcation is where one begins in connecting souls.
- And there’s a pressure that will forever weigh in the emptiness of the things we never got to say.
- Dependability is like the structure that holds one together.
- Find what holds you together and if you can’t find it then begin building it.
- Know the pain of defeat how sometimes you ought to rest in it to learn from it.
- Life has a funny way of calling us out on the things we need to hear the most.
- Perhaps that’s why life sometimes feels it keeps repeating because we failed to listen the first time.
- There’s freedom in changing your mind. But depth lives in the reason why.
- Love isn’t a struggle. It’s a tale of decency.
- Exceptions are like rules. The more you have to make only begins to show how little you expect.
- And when it comes to ambiguity, save that for your dexterity.
- Distractions are like debts, and you’ll have to pay for them eventually.
- There is something to be said about how closely you relate being alone to loneliness.
- But then again whatever the question, the answer is usually hidden somewhere in the act of identifying yourself first.
- Oh, and the significance of where you are is always something worth relishing in.
- Never wager a noble cause in the ruins of war.
- There’s something diplomatic in learning how to bend just enough not to break.
- But if and when you do know nothing heals like time, but being present is a gift.
It’s always an interesting process of effects I experience when rereading some of my written posts. I confess, there have been times I’ve laughed at my innocence and others where I couldn’t help but praise the development of my thought process. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop the manner or practice of finding the answers to these types of questions in my life. For you see, I have this tendency to forget the essence of who I am if there is no means of me creating it. Home has changed a thousand times throughout a thousand measures of what I assumed home could be, yet here it’s been all along for me.
Yours truly at 29,