No matter the depth or darkness to which they may hide, lies much like termites, unequivocally devour the place in which they dwell quite similarly. Multiplying at an overwhelming pace evidence of their existence will begin to surface from the inside out. They have the power to confiscate our peace in the night as we listen to them gnaw at the cracks in our footing. And yet perhaps it is the absence of knowing a solid truth within us and not the manifestation of a deceitful presence that may be to blame for the destruction in which we are bound to face.
There’s an eerie hum to the quietness of my hometown that forces me to recall upon all the memories of duplicity I once occupied as my life. Reluctantly, I’m reminded of the external lies that emerged then from lacking the kind of courage I needed to support the truth of who I was. Calling in rhythm are the added lies I had to create internally though my own emotions. For years I feared what coming back to this place would do to me as if it would instantaneously eat away at everything I had been devoted to building. Nevertheless, here I am because I believe it is my obligation to face the fears of my devotions.
Like lies, a termite’s power of destruction solely comes from their ability to remain undetected. Perhaps it’s why they work assiduously in the dark for years, frantically colonizing their nests. For the only time they hold power alone is in being seen, which undoubtedly can and will bring an end to the intent of their colonization. I think we justify white lies or “little lies” as insignificant in exchange for the honor of politeness or protection. Not realizing it is for the simplicity of their deceitfulness that lies build on one another to create mass destruction and yet all it takes is revealing one to unravel all the others.
I have never been a good liar but I could always spot one within myself when it was about to be told. It always showed up first as my heart began to race. My mind would play the scenario of consequences to each option I could conjure and then I knew there was no place there in which I would ever feel safe. As my heart began to pump faster circulating blood flow in a way that made my whole body feel warm…I knew inevitably my eyes would tell the truth to the lies in which my lips would unravel.
Being honest was harder then because it took the kind of courage I wasn’t yet willing to accept responsibility for. Nevertheless, it didn’t free me from having to take on what I felt I wasn’t yet ready for. You see, responsibility never comes when you’re ready for it, it comes when you need it the most. I needed to stop justifying the lies of my life with the excuses I had learned to tell myself to feel better. Why? Because those lies no longer justified or held an influence on the life I was trying to develop.
You see, here is what I have learned about lies. It really doesn’t matter how long we spend discussing about the sovereignty to the deceits we’ve been told. In the end what will truly matters is the responsibility we take for recognizing that true control comes from all the “little lies” we tell ourselves. The excuses we continue to make for the choices we know are wrong. The white lies we tell for no reason at all. Alone they have no power yet as they begin to build on one another they have the ability for total obliteration.
#true #lifelessons # livewell #healthymind